I’ve been here before.
Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, burnt out. Churning things out like a damn robot because that’s what I’m “supposed” to do, right?
Add to that a real rough medication change, constant fibromyalgia flare up’s, and the ins and outs of daily life and you have a foolproof recipe for feeling like trash.
The frustrating part, in the moment it felt like I was on fire. I wanted to do everything all at once and kept pushing through to get it done. Until it started feeling like I was producing just to produce. When the excitement turned into feeling pressure to keep going at an unrealistic pace in the name of success.
We are taught to keep going. Keep pushing. Especially as women, society rewards us for success and self-sacrifice, but never for rest.
Here’s the thing though…the more we rest and pour into ourselves actually gives us a better chance at achieving the things we want to achieve, and be able to enjoy it.
I realized if I was going to have any chance at the life I’ve been working so hard for, I was going to need to get real comfortable with rest.
What It Means to Have a ‘Soft Month’
It sounds really simple, but for those of us who have a need for productivity so deeply ingrained — it’s going to take a lot of work.
All a “soft month” really comes down to is a few things. Living slower, more intentionally, prioritizing self-care without guilt, investing in yourself — body, mind, and spirit, and letting go of the need to constantly produce just to prove your worth.
Just a few things, right?!
To be clear, each one is a way to living a softer life, and you do not need to try to tackle all of these at once. The goal is to do less more intentionally, not pile your to-do list with more tasks.
If you can do just one of these things, you’ll start to see space open up in your life for more of what you want with less stress.
Why Softness is a Rebellion
As I mentioned before, rest goes against everything we are conditioned to believe as women. We must be everything to everyone. We must show up for our families and our friends first. We must play by the rules — all of them — if we want to be successful. And let’s honest, most of the “rules” contradict themselves anyways, making all the more confusing.
We are taught from a very young age what kinds of roles are “acceptable” for a woman, what kind of dress, behavior, language…. all of these standards and expectations put in place to keep us “in our place.”
What we are not taught, is the importance of rest and radical self care.
Choosing to slow down isn’t fucking lazy. It’s revolutionary. It’s choosing a life of freedom over survival. It’s choosing to say “fuck this toxic hustle culture, I’m doing shit my way.”
In a society where burnout is worn as a badge of honor, anything different stands out.
The Soft Month Guide
There are about a million different ways you can go about having a “soft month.” It really comes down to what’s most important to you, what your values are, and of course, what you’re physically capable of doing or letting go.
These are a few of the things I’ll be prioritizing this month. Take what you want from this list and make it fit your life.
- Mindset Shift: Permission to slow the fuck down
- Daily Rituals: Evening journaling, skincare, 10-minute meditations
- Movement: Moving for pleasure, not punishment (think stretching, walks, dancing)
- Beauty as Self-Care: Skincare routines, masking nights, buying products that make me feel good (I’m putting together a “Fuck off, I’m ‘busy” kit with all my favorite Limelife products for a little extra care.)
- Rest Practices: Afternoon naps, reading for pleasure, digital detoxes
- Investing in Yourself: Reading self-help books, signing up for courses, working on my business without urgency
Each of these can be adapted to your daily life in ways that work best for you. Try them, tweak them, do whatever makes the most sense for you! If you want to get your hands on your own “Fuck off” kit, hit me up.
While you’re implementing some of these things into your life, here are some prompts to answer for yourself. These will help guide you in your rest.
Soft Month Prompts:
- What would your life look like if you prioritized feeling good over being productive?
- What’s one way you can make your daily routine 10% softer?
- How can you romanticize your self-care routine this month?
Take a moment to answer these before mapping out your month.
Join the Soft Month Challenge
Let’s make this month our softest yet, and encourage each other along the way ! It’s always better doing things together, especially if these changes are going to be hard for you. Building a community or support network that can get behind what you’re doing can make all the difference.
Share your own experience through stories, reels, and posts. Tag me @gvldbvne and use the hashtag #softandsavagemarch so we can all connect with each other and root each other on!
Things to Remember
Softness isn’t weakness — it’s power. This month is about unlearning everything that tells women they have to grind themselves into the ground to deserve happiness. We deserve happiness no matter what.
We deserve to be soft with ourselves, our partners, our endeavors… it’s not about giving up or living this pampered life all the time, it’s about living with intention and giving ourselves permission to be complete.
It may feel counterintuitive now, but the more you lean in the clearer it will get. The softer you let yourself be, the stronger you’ll become.