After living a life of chaos, structure and routine were not so easy to develop. I had absolutely no discipline in my life and I found the repetition of routine incredibly uncomfortable… at first. But it was necessary to pick up the pieces left by trauma and addiction.
I had to relearn how to become organized and intentional. I created routines that fit my life and the goals I’m working towards, as well as making sure I was scheduling in time just for me.
Initially I really struggled with that discomfort I felt. I actually thought somehow, even with all the things I had going on, that I was bored.
I wasn’t bored. I was safe. For the first time in my life, I was truly safe.
Finding or creating that space after so much chaos was crucial to my growth and survival. I needed to learn how to exist in the world again, and how to do so without constantly finding a way to sabotage things.
It’s been almost 4 years of being clean now. Structure and routine are just second nature to me now. But I realized something: I had been clinging to my routines so hard that I wasn’t leaving any room for creativity.
Structure served its purpose, but now it’s time to loosen the reins and allow creativity to flow again.
How Routine Became a Comfort Zone
Sticking to a structured routine helped me feel in control. It wasn’t like when I was using, when everything centered around what I needed to do to get my fix. It wasn’t like those abusive relationships where everything was unpredictable and I was constantly walking on eggshells.
It was calm. And organized. I knew what to expect because I was the one calling the shots.
I could’ve done a lot more as well… just this January I had developed a scheduled that accounted for nearly every hour of my day. I have shit to do, I wanted to be the most effective and efficient in getting those things done.
But the more I tried to set that strict schedule, the more I felt that little tug. That little voice telling me it needed room to breathe. Not to mention scheduling time to spend with my partner — while valuable and important, took away any opportunity for spontaneity.
It wasn’t until I dug into my reading list that I even realized what was happening. More than a few of these books mentioned space for creativity in some for or other.
A fucking alarm bell started going off inside my brain. “WE NEED MORE FUCKING FREEDOM!! PLEASE!!”
I realized that by clinging to these routines so desperately out of a need for control, I wasn’t leaving myself any space to truly create.
Shifting from Structure to Creative Freedom
This realization has been like a burst of fresh air. Like I could relax a little bit and just breathe. I noticed jjst how much my routines had dampened my ability to be creative, purely due to what I was expecting myself to produce within a specific and limited time.
It just became so mundane, and the things I love to do weren’t passions but tasks to be checked off.
I’m not here for that. I do this because I want freedom not to box myself in.
So I’ve started playing around with things.
Instead of pumping out content like a robot every morning, I’m giving myself the space to decide what I really want to create. What message do I want to share today? What feelsright in this moment?
No more expectations for how much or what to create, just the freedom to create it.
I’m also giving myself more time to do things that feed my brain, like meditation, reading, and writing for pleasure. I LOVE to write, so why did I ever put restrictions on it?
Just loosening up the schedule a little bit has given me space to explore different creative outlets I haven’t thought about in years. Music, drawing, writing, even movement with my body.
I have given myself permission to play with ideas instead of only producing results. In doing so, I find myself free to be more…well…FREE. More authentic, more ME.
The most beautiful part?? I can still have my structure. I can still have my control. BOTH creative freedom and structure have space in my life and can coexist beautifully.
Tips & Tricks for Rekindling Creativity
I’ve found these to be helpful, and considering my whole goal is to help other women experience these moments of freedom, self discovery, and growth, it only seems fitting to share them.
- Loosen the Grip on Productivity – Not every action needs an immediate outcome. Creativity thrives when there’s space to explore.
- Try Something New – Step outside your usual creative medium (painting, journaling, movement, etc.).
- Change Your Environment – A simple shift in scenery can spark new ideas.
- Incorporate Playfulness – Do something just for fun, no expectations attached.
- Follow Your Curiosity – Chase inspiration wherever it leads, even if it doesn’t seem “useful” at first.
- Schedule “Creative Free Time” – Block off time to brainstorm, experiment, or dream without restrictions.
- Reconnect with Your ‘Why’ – What excites you about creating? Get back to that core feeling.
Try out one or two things, or all of them — fuck it! See what feels the best to you and fucking run with it.
The Big Takeaway
It hasn’t been very long since I had this realization and I can already feel the shift and impact it’s creating.
Letting go of this need to constantly be producing something of value, to be doing something for the growth of the business, it’s so incredibly liberating. And the best part? It’s actually making my business better. I’m not limiting myself or boxing myself in. I’m creating for the fun of it again, not for anyone else but just because the mood struck.
It’s bringing back a little light to my life and refueling this ever burning fire I have inside me to do more
If there is any part of you that feels stuck — make room for creativity. Let go of even one task to give yourself more space to daydream, to let your mind wander into new and unexplored territories, to spark what already exists within you.
Creativity is one of the beautiful gifts we have as humans. Everyone has the capacity for it, even if they (or you) don’t realize it. It’s part of our nature to be curious and curiosity leads to creativity.
Explore what lights you up and then create around it. Produce for the fun of it with no expectation of how it will “perform.” Let loose a little.
You might be surprised at what it does for you.
If you try any of these things I would love to hear about your experiences!! Leave a comment or DM me on Instagram so we can swap stories and tap into collaborative creativity!!
Let’s make the world a little more beautiful.