Picking Yourself Back Up

Life After Trauma and What to do Next

There’s a few things you need to know, right out the gate.

  1. You are worthy & deserving of a life you love
  2. You are capable of anything you put your mind to
  3. You are not your past, and you are not responsible for the actions of others
  4. You are powerful, all on your own.

Sit with that for a minute. Write these down if you need to. Whatever will serve as the best reminder for you in times you really need it.

This is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Returning to a “normal life” after trauma or addiction feels impossible. How can things ever feel normal again? How can I ever recover from this?? How do I go on from here and what the fuck am I supposed to do with myself??

I can’t tell you all the answers. So much of this work is trial and error. What I can offer, is guidance, suggestions that have been helpful for me and thousands of others, and hopefully a little reassurance that you will make it through.

So where do we start?

Well…we gotta start with the hard shit.

What is the biggest thing that’s holding you back right now? What have you been through that still has power over you?? Dig deep. This isn’t something to skim over; you have to really lay that shit bare.

All of this is going to be so specific to what you went through, how you experienced it and how you want to move forward. A lot of times we get in our own heads with self doubt, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough — just FEAR. Sometimes it’s more external factors — feeling like you don’t have the means or tools or know how. Even worrying about what others are going to think of you when you finally do take that step.

Here’s the thing though, none of that shit matters.

At the end of the day, you deserve a life you’re excited for, no matter what anyone thinks, including yourself.

When it comes to picking yourself back up, get clear on what is most important to you. This is a really good time to find your “why.” Why do you even WANT to move forward? What is it that’s making you feel like what you’re doing now just “isn’t it?”

Hopefully you’re at a point where you’re safe, you’re on your way to healing, and you feel comfortable enough to actually start taking the steps of picking yourself back up. If you’re not ready, that’s perfectly ok!!

If you are ready though, here are some different small things you can do to start the process of picking yourself back up.

  1. Clean your space: I know this doesn’t necessarily sound relevant, but how often have you found yourself looking around after going through some serious shit and you realize your space reflects the chaos that your life has been? Cleaning your space is, reorganizing, redecorating even, can just give you that refresh you need, A clear space is a clear mind. Seriously, the power of decluttering can be fucking insane.
  2. Refresh your self care routine: From skincare to exercise, getting yourself a solid self care routine can be a fucking game changer. This is something just for YOU. Whatever you feel like is going to make you feel so good about yourself, and breathe life back in to you, DO THAT.
  3. Rediscover your passions: A bit more of a project, but an impactful one. Often when we get stuck in a negative headspace or life is throwing shit at us left and right, it’s really easy to forget the things that used to bring us so much joy.
    Did you have any hobbies or interests? What were they and why did you stop? Is it something you could start again?? ….do it.

Ultimately, do what you need to do to find yourself again. And don’t think these have to wait until something drastic happens either — you can do these at ANY time. If it’ll help, fucking do it.

Don’t let yourself get stuck in a cycle of feeling like shit. Learn how to recognize those times within yourself and catch them before you can spiral out. Even when it’s coming from external factors out of your control. Take a second to feel your feelings, acknowledge them, know they are valid, and then do what you need to do to be OK.

What do you need to do to be ok??


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